![]() In the weeks before our wedding, I often got congratulated on keeping my virginity for so long. Was he allowed to touch my breasts? Could we look at each other naked? I didn’t know what was considered sexual enough to condemn my future marriage and send me straight to Hell.Īn unhealthy mixture of pride, fear, and guilt helped me keep my pledge until we got married. I wondered where the line was because I was terrified to cross it. Any time we did anything remotely sexual, guilt overwhelmed me. We were together for six years before we got married. When I met my then boyfriend-now husband, I told him right away that I was saving myself for marriage and he was fine with that because it was my body, my choice and he loved me. It became my entire identity by the time I hit my teen years. If the topic ever came up in conversation, I was happy to let people know that I had taken a pledge of purity. My church encouraged me to do so, saying my testimony would inspire other young girls to follow suit. The church congregation applauded my righteousness.įor more than a decade, I wore my virginity like a badge of honor. ![]() ![]() My parents were so proud of me for making such a spiritual decision. Gossip is the lifeblood of the Baptist Church. Everyone knew I’d taken the virginity vow, of course. Why wouldn’t I? I was young and these were people I trusted. I was told over and over again, so many times I lost count, that if I remained pure, my marriage would be blessed by God and if I didn’t that it would fall apart and end in tragic divorce. Once I got married, it would be my duty to fulfill my husband’s sexual needs. And of course, because I was a Christian, I would forgive him for his past transgressions and fully give myself to him, body and soul. It was entirely possible that my future husband wouldn’t remain pure for me, because he didn’t have that same responsibility, according to the Bible. I learned that as a girl, I had a responsibility to my future husband to remain pure for him. Extramarital sex was sinful and dirty and I would go to Hell if I did it. The church taught me that sex was for married people. And most importantly, I didn’t have a clue about sex. ![]() I wouldn’t get my period for another four years. I still thought boys were icky and I had no idea I liked girls, too. I pretended I was a mermaid every time I took a bath. I played with Barbie dolls and had tea parties with imaginary friends. Let’s take a look at who I was as a 10-year-old: I was in fourth grade. Yes, you read that right - I was 10 years old. As well as abstaining from sexual thoughts, sexual touching, pornography, and actions that are known to lead to sexual arousal.”Īt the age of 10, I took a pledge at my church alongside a group of other girls to remain a virgin until marriage. “Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate and my future children to be sexually abstinent from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship. I advice that you read both for true balance and understanding. This story is incomplete without this other story, also written by someone in a similar situation I Waited Until My Wedding To Lose My Virginity, and It’s the Best Thing I Ever Did.
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